“What do you want?”

You can read that a few ways. It might be something you ask someone who you’re not too happy to see. It might be something you ask your partner. Or it might be something you ask yourself.

We often wish for a happy relationship without really considering what we mean by the term. Just what is a ‘happy relationship’ for you? There are layers of experience and conditioning - from family, society, religion - that can shape your image of relationship. But is that image what you really want?

Are your expectations interfering with your ability to meet and really connect with someone who could be a good partner? Do you love your partner but find yourself unhappy because the relationship doesn’t look and feel the way you’ve imagined it should?

Astrologers recognize that people can have competing needs in their relationships. The Moon might be looking for security, while Venus wants a partnership that’s fun and spontaneous. Mars could be looking for a sparring partner, in bed as much as intellectually. Uranus might be affecting relationships by demanding a degree of freedom and space.

Working out how to satisfy this committee of competing wants and needs can be a challenge. But the first step is to get a clear idea of a deceptively tricky question: “What do I want?”