Conflict in Relationships

With Jupiter currently quincunx Chiron and almost opposite Uranus, (the exact opposition is on Wed/Thurs – depending on your time zone), there is a lot of volatility, fear and angst in the collective. As Armand and I have often mentioned in our YouTube recordings, even with the best of intentions, it’s very easy for the upheaval and chaos in the collective to infiltrate our relationships with our intimate other, family members, friends and work colleagues. Keeping it at bay and recognizing what is happening, is of course the ideal solution. However, if it does seep in, it’s worth considering what our key conflict resolution style is in relationships.

Is our first reaction to conflict and disagreement led by Mars/Fire energy – anger, fight, attack? Or is it led by Mercury/Air– communication, overthinking, rationalizing? Or by Venus/Earth – placating, diplomacy? Do we put up armor and walls and retreat – Saturn/Earth? Do we tend to run and avoid responsibility or accountability – Jupiter/Fire? Do we seethe and try to control - sometimes through silence – Pluto/Water/Earth? Do we abruptly detach and break connections? – Uranus/Air Do we go into victim mode + passive aggressive and avoidance behaviors – Neptune/Water?

These of course are caricatures of the Planets and the Elements, as they rarely operate in such a limited and one-sided way in our chart. Just for right now it can be helpful to look at extremes as a way to understand and address more clearly our default ways of dealing with conflict. The clearer we are about our approach, the easier it is to decide whether these are constructive or destructive ways to operate in our lives and our relationships, and whether we want to keep using them, or if it’s time to change. (Later in the week, I’ll look at how our birth chart planetary energies can help us in dealing with conflict).

It’s also worth considering how we got to this place as a collective – which ways have we been using to deal with conflict as countries and communities? This can help inform us of ways that are unlikely to be helpful in our personal lives. As we are all interconnected, making even small changes in how we each resolve conflicts and disagreements in our personal relationships, will inevitably ripple out to wider community. In the end it’s a win/win for everyone.
In case it’s of help – one of my favorite books on conflict resolution is ‘Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life’ By Marshall B. Rosenberg. MG